Category: entertain

My Intergalactic Trip

March 20, 2017.Reading time 1 minute.

I tried to visit a planted called #MAGA
in a galaxy far, far away
applied for an intergalactic Visa
but I was rejected
on the grounds
of my planet’s
dark brown coffee beans

#MAGAns exclusively lap vanilla cream
from crystal bowls
on silver platters
they’ve placed an interstellar ban
on all forms of caffeine
and caffeinated beverages
like me

so I stole away aboard a pirate space ship –
“The Percolator” –
in hopes to steal of view
of a #MAGAn or two
while some dark roast was traded
on a black market
to #MAGAns grown weary
of vanilla cream

we sailed an orbit all around #MAGA
only to discover
an impenetrable, atmospheric barrier
erected
to keep our brew away

our captain, Java the Hutt,
laughed maliciously
as we flew through space
in search of a market –
a weary planet in need of a jolt

Captain Java bellowed,
“Foolish #MAGAns!
In fear of the indigestion they think caffeine will bring,
they have severed their sole supply of vanilla cream.
With milk delivery routes from the planet Magnesia
entirely stopped up
the entire #MAGAn civilization is doomed
to thirst, ache and explode.”

~

Words and Photography ©2017 Tanya Cliff ~ to contact me

Posted in poetry & free verse. Bookmark the permalink.

Dear Donald #1

January 30, 2017.Reading time 2 minutes.

Dear Donald,

I understand that you are building a wall to keep dangerous Mexicans off our soil, and you have bravely banned humans of seven scary Muslim countries from entering our great nation.

While you are busy signing executive orders to make America great again, I was wondering if you would consider the following:

1. a ban on all grasshoppers
2. a nationwide flight restriction on mosquitos, especially the kind that carry the Zika Virus
3. a prohibition on plant blight
4. a restriction on drought that covers all except the designated desert plains
5. an immediate halt to the entry in United States’ air space of any cloud even thinking of forming a tornado vortex
6. an offshore boundary prohibiting hurricanes from coming within 200 nautical miles of our fine country’s shores, or else
7. an immediate ban on all forms of cancer
8. a strict restriction on flooding in urban or agricultural districts
9. an executive order calling for the immediate halt of all traffic accidents
10. a ban on the flu virus, something that would save millions of dollars annually in vaccines alone

I can think of many other items to put on this list; but, between your ban of people from those Muslim countries and your wall to keep Mexican people out, I don’t see how there will be enough working humans left in America to complete the tasks already mentioned.

Thank you for your time.

A Concerned Citizen

~

Words and Photography ©2017 Tanya Cliff ~ to contact me

Posted in short stories & satire. Bookmark the permalink.